Parents urged to talk with kids about sexual abuse

Parents are being encouraged to talk to their children about sexual abuse from an early age, including physical boundaries and the privacy of body parts, to empower them to recognise and report abuse.

Dr Alcon Barnett, regional clinical psychologist at the Western Regional Health Authority, told JIS News that having open conversations with children can help them learn to identify unsafe situations and encourage them to seek support from trusted adults.

"You have to be honest... and the amount of detail that you think the child can handle depends on how much you think your child can comprehend," he said.

Barnett said the conversation may begin with teaching children the body parts and helping them to understand their bodies and bodily boundaries, including "good touch, bad touch, or secret touch".

"It can be very uncomfortable for some parents to talk about it because their parents were uncomfortable talking about it too. So, there is a sense of shame and unease when they approach sexuality," Barnett said. "But, it has to be shame-free...; we share honest and shame-free, accurate information. Use the appropriate words." Barnett said that children should clearly understand that certain parts of their bodies are private and that there are strict limits about who may touch them and under what circumstances.

"No one should touch their private parts, you know, except parents or the doctors," he said, noting that requests from others to touch private areas should be treated as a warning sign. Barnett pointed out that perpetrators often manipulate children through secrecy and intimidation.

"So, tell the child... if the perpetrator comes and says, 'This is our little secret'... the child should immediately understand that when that happens, go to the parent," he advised. Equally important, he said, is building a trusting relationship so that children feel safe discussing sensitive issues and reporting uncomfortable situations.

Barnett further urged parents to pay close attention to online safety, warning that sexual abuse risks now extend beyond physical environments. He recommended practical safety measures, including establishing code words children can use to signal discomfort or danger when away from home.