Masturbation helped my relationship

Dear Pastor,

I was introduced to your column many years ago by my girlfriend at the time. You addressed an issue about masturbation.

I was expecting you to condemn the practice, as the church I attended did, but you did not. My girlfriend and I used to masturbate together to relieve our sexual tension. Although I participated, I often wondered whether it was truly sinful.

My pastor taught that masturbation was like having sex outside of marriage, so from that moment, I continued reading your column.

My girlfriend and I are now married, and we still read your column. I would love to become a counsellor like you. At our church, whenever certain topics arise, the young people call me 'Pastor', saying, 'Let us ask Dear Pastor'.

You pointed out that the Bible is silent on masturbation and that when the Bible is silent, one should remain silent rather than reading personal interpretation into scripture.

My wife and I are hoping to welcome a newborn in August of this year. I just want to thank you for your thoughtful counselling.

S.H.

Dear S.H.,

A good counsellor does not condemn anyone. The fact is that the Bible is silent on masturbation, and people have engaged in it privately for many years. Just because some parents have never witnessed their children masturbating does not mean it does not happen.

Contrary to common belief, masturbation is not only practised by males. Many females also engage in the practice, and some even do so more frequently than males.

Some myths persist, such as the belief that masturbation causes blindness--this is simply not true.

I hope that if you become a counsellor, you will do so with knowledge and understanding, rather than following those who have never formally studied counselling but feel entitled to give advice.

I wish you and your family well. Take good care of yourselves.

Pastor